Next year, I’ll work hard. I'm going to do 6 big paintings, 5 small paintings, 143 drawings, 7 object based pieces and 1 video.

My favorite slogan for the year 2008 is Without tits there is no paradise. Maybe all my shows will be titled that way. Sin Tetas No Hay Paraiso is a Colombian TV show. The story is based on a young girl who is obsessed with getting breast implants in order to overcome poverty. Fake tits are huge in the Latin America and curiously, the number one semi-solid silicone implanting country is Hugo Chavez’s Venezuela on it’s way to socialism. Naturally, tits have a strong demand everywhere, now they do both U.S. and Spanish versions of the Colombian telenovela.

My brother-in-law Pedro was a great Santa Claus but my daughter was so frightened that she still, two days later, has fever though she got the pink bike she wanted. I got a Black & Decker laser level I had wished. Actually, I think is not really necessary for anything but looks cool when I hang my drawings next year in Stockholm, Paris and St. Petersburg.

Maybe I should pass the rest of my wishlist to the Three Kings of the East, who bring the presents to the Spaniards in Epiphany but I might feel too patriot to do it. Some advertising agency did a campaign against the Santa Claus, who lives and works - according to the Finnish authorities - in Finland. The campaign included bubblegum bling-bling rapper styled Kings demonstrating outside of the Embassy of Finland in Madrid. So keep out from my house, you dirty monarchs! I'm republican and ultra-leftist and believe in the red Santa!

Dear Santa,

This year, I've been a good boy, a caring father, a loving husband and a hardworking artist. Maybe you could bring a pink bike to my daughter and something to me, too. This is my wishlist:

- A pair of wool socks
- Juan José Millas' new novel
- Tender Forever's new CD
- A laser level
- A bottle of Polish vodka
- A Louis Vuitton vollet
- A table reservation for Ferran Adrià's El Bulli
- A Nissan Murano SUV (with leather and GPS)
- A Martin Kippenberger hotel drawing
- Some world piece

This is the best of list of my 100 Reasons to Hate Sweden I made for the invitation card of my show in Stockholm in January.

Abba, Absolut Vodka, Ace of Base, Birger jarl, Birgit Rausing, Björn Borg Underwear, Carl XVI Gustaf, Carl Larsson, Christer Petterson, Cinnamon roll, Collaboration with the Nazi Germany, Colonialism, Dynamit, Gay friendliness, Greta Garbo, Gustav V, Gustav Vasa, Hennes & Mauritz, Ikea, Ingmar Bergman, José Gonzalez, Kurt Wallander, Lars Vilks, Max Martin, Metro International, Neutrality, Nobel Price, Olof Palme, Pacifism, Pancakes, Peter Forsberg, Pippi Långstrump, Pommac, Pripps Blå Light, Protestantism, Raoul Wallenberg, Rinkeby, Roxette, Saab, Securitas, Smörgåsbord, Social democracy, Swedish Meatballs, Tetra Pak, The Final Countdown, The Swedish Middleway, Vikings, Viking Metal, Volvo XC90, Wellfare State, Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

It’s always great to be back home. We went to couples therapy and had a romantic Duo Combo lunch at KFC. After the deep fried meal we bought a Christmas ham at Casa de Carne, which is in the same building with Lidl, where I found an awesome Fat Free Funny Cola candy package.

The only thing that disappointed me today was that my wife couldn’t even see Jiri Geller’s golden three-eyed-human-skull I traded in Helsinki to three drawings. I’m not interested to collect art for a storage room, I just want to decorate my beautiful home with my friends’ works, so I have to ask Jiri to change the skull to one of his new balloon sculpltures. Our therapist Olga says that we must be generous.