I’ve been invited to do a collaboration for …might be good, a digital art magazine published by Testsite, a project space in Austin, Texas, where I did a show with Jani some years ago. I made a new drawing for them using a local prostitute's internet ad.

Testsite's Laurence and Mary Katherine were concerned of the legal issues of publishing the genuine telephone number. Mary Katherine said that the United States can be very strict about such things. But it's not only the conservative Texas and the politically correct United States. In December, I did a wall painting at Kunsthalle Helsinki with a local prostitute's ad and Riikka, who curated the show, got a nervous about it.

My art is real and true and that’s sometimes difficult and shocking to the people and the society. Imaginery worlds are beautiful but we are in this world. I think that the function of the art is to show how the world is. Utopian art is criminal! There are enough paradise iseland on the TV. This is the manifesto of realistic art.

These are the labels for the Domestic Terrorism (Paris Remix) bottles, that I'll show at Galerie e.l Bannwart in April: bouillabaisse, cyclosarin, döner kebab, tularemia, ketchup, mustard gas, coq au vin, cyanogen chloride, champagne, yellow fever, camembert, cholera, french onion soup, Marburg virus, Coke, miso soup, sarin, guacamole, soman, mayonnaise, brucellolis, café au lait, tabun, gazpacho, machupo, spaghetti bolognese, Q fever, whisky, smallpox, chutney, pastis, agent 15, crème brulee, chlorine, consommé, instant ramen, borscht, kolokol-1, ratatouille, diphosgene, chicken curry, tsatsiki, mycotoxins, cuisses de grenouille, chopped liver, hydrogen cyanide, HP sauce, anthrax, paella, shigella, cuba libre, lewisite, cognac, scrambled eggs, saxitoxin, sauce hollandaise, ebola, couscous, baked beans, phosgene, marmalade, chloropicrin, hummus, bubonic plague, petit suisse, psittacosis, chardonnay, glanders, Waldorf salad, typhus, and wonton soup.

The change from the hectic Helsinki to the tranquil Cervera was even bigger than normally: now we are completely isolated without telephone lines and internet connection. Copper is very valuable at the moment and Telefonica´s cabels have been stolen. If I were a thief, I´d steel something sexier, for example sports cars or designer bags but I understand that everybody can't do just fun things.

Now I´m doing only the most urgent work: the Montehermoso project proposal with Judas, chemical warfare milk bottles for Paris, and a Gold Wax illustration for Sylvian magazine. Most of my time, I´m going to spend fixing and ordering the house: Viivi is sending in soon a photographer to take pictures of our home for the Finnish Trendi magazine.

On Friday, I lectured in Tampere University of Applied Sciences. Fanni had booked me for seven hours and I was a bit afraid beforehand thinking that maybe I don't have enough things to say. But finally I had no problems, the students listened me with adoring faces and I was like Fidel Castro speaking hour after hour on the podium. I felt inteligent and important but the disappointment came in the last minute: a fourth grade student asked me what is a curator. I was speaking them about literature when they couldn't even read. That night in Jani's amazing birhday party at Hotel Klaus K, back in Helsinki, I met Minna and Petri, who are both professors in Tampere, and I told them that next year I need a whole week to get my message through. Today, I give the same set in the Academy of Fine Arts here in Helsinki. Maybe there they now the alpabets. The A is for Art, the B is for (Warhol's) Banana, and the C is for Curator but the real question is, should the young artists sleep with them or not.

Jani phoned me. Tomorrow, he comes to pick me up at the Helsinki Airport. He's my best friend. He changed the date of his big birthday party at Hotel Klaus Kurki for me. Then he told me that a gentleman with an aristocratic surname visited his studio, bought the work that Jani just had started to paint, paid immediately €5000 in cash and asked to have 20 paintings more.

I asked Jani to analyze how that happens. And why it happens to him. I go to lecture with the title Young Artist’s Survival Kit on Friday at Tampere University of Applied Sciences and I do the same think next Monday at The Academy of Fine Arts in Helsinki. Anyways, I’m happy that Jani has money because I’m always broke. My Artfacts ranking is 5000 positions higher than his but I’d change my ranking points to his €5000 any time.