My brother-in-law is teaching me to swim. Now it seems that my surf project will be realized and I go in October to Maldives to do it. I was reading that Maldives is the most boring place on the earth and the worst is that it's strictly Muslim and the customs confiscate all the whiskey bottles they can find. So it seems that the only thing there what you can do is waterspots and this doesn't refer to urophilia.

Next week, we go vacationing in Finland  It's our destination every year. That's what emigrants do in summer. On Tuesday we go fro a night to Madrid, on Wednesday fly to Finland but early on Tuesday morning I fly to Luxembourg to a meeting. I suppose that Luxembourg is almost as dull as Maldives. Moreover, Wednesday is my birthday and I'd really prefer to spend that with the family.

Although I've spent lately more time in the swimming pool than in the studi, I finished the first big (140x140cm) drawing and I think it looks superb. And it's top quality paper waht makes my gallerists and collectors happy.

Timo suggested to make a show exclusively of my list drawings. I'm listing immortal people, vodka brands and camps - concentration camps, internment camps, labor camps, extermination camps. The first camps were established by the U.S. authorities in 1930 to intern native Americans. My list is totally aleatory. Writing lists like cause me nausea. Only camps that have a name have been included - I'm sure that there have been and there are and there will be camps that we can't even talk about because they have no known name or location.

MY FAVORITE CAMPS

Manjaca Camp
Security Prison 21
Camp 17
Jasenovac Concentration Camp
Camp Vernet
Rab Concentration Camp
University of Santo Tomas
Sunghori Concentration Camp
Central Labor Camp Jaworzno
Storsien Internment Camp
Petrozadovsk Concentration Camp
East London COncentration Camp
Akmolinsk Camp of Wives of Traitors of the Motherland
Auschwitz-Birkenau Concentration Camp
Belzec Extermination Camp
Timbuctoo Internment Camp
Camp 22
Beijing Women's RTL
Bereza Kartuska Prison
Fort Cass Camp
Camp de Rivesaltes
Shiragawa #4
Stalingradzki ITL
Nerchinsk Katorga
North point Camp
Bogdanovka Conecentration Camp
Maly Trostenets Extermination Camp
Omarska Camp

It's Midsummer, one of biggest parties in Finland but in Cervera de los Montes nobody observes it and it's one of the few moments of the year when I miss my patria. In Finland, Juhannus night includes pagan magic, barbecuing and heavy drinking. I asked my wife if we could imitate the Finnish juhannus in our Castilian patio but she is going to have dinner with her friend in Talavera. It seems that it's going to be just me and my bottle of Finlandia Vodka tonight.

My daughter has today this year's last school day. I went yesterday to the school celebration where the kids sang "You need three things in the life: health, money and love" (in this order). And I think the song included something about praising God, too. My wife works until the end of the month, so I'm planning holiday activities for my daughter. We'll construct a huge robot of cardboard and then we organize our own spa resort in the patio.

It's awfully hot and I'm going to slow down but Ana is still designing my Eternal Life Device for Beijing and my Santa Claus performance for Madrid. In September, the Santa will distribute in Plaza de Soledad Torres Acosta Lidl's Freeway Cola (signed and numbered) and there will be a banner saying Escriban a Papa Noel y pidan libertad (Write to Santa Claus and ask for freedom).

I don't order any inflight beer and I try to concentrate in the reading of the fantastic novel Nocilla Experience by Agustín Fernández Mallo but I'm still feeling too fat. Always when I spend time in Berlin with Amel, I live on Paris Bar's entrecôtes (served with a huge bowl of pommes frites and and abundant amount of béarnaise sauce). Amel can do this because she follows a genetic French Women Don't Get Fat diet which allows her to eat anything and stay slim but it doesn't seem to work for Finnish men.

Yesterday I moved from the West to the East to Niina and Till's place. They do the Montignac diet. Till says that he has lost 14kg in four months (and he was counting that it's equivalent with almost 60 German butter packs). He doesn't eat any french fries but I saw him enjoying several bottles of pilsener. And in the morning he served us a true German bratwurst breakfast. Now I'm thinking that maybe I can continue my normal diet including bread, potatoes, burgers and beer but I just need a fancy name for it. Slim Chance Diet sounds realistic.

ArtBasel was like all other art fairs: a bourgeois flea market that makes me think that art is both boring and unnecessary. The funniest thing was to see Jani and my work We Love Vodka & Freedom in the Galerie Gmurzynska booth next to Fernando Botero's paintings.

Gmurzynska gave a dinner in the honor of Karl Lagerfeld at the Grand Hotel Les Trois Rois. Mr. Lagerfeld was just like in photos. I think it's awesome that a fashion designer always wears the same clothes. After the starters the flashes were burning again, Naomi Cambell arrived fashionably late.

During the dinner I heard that our work was sold to a Swiss hotel owner but I don't believe anything before I have the cash in my wallet. After finishing the meal I cabbed with Kiasma's Pirkko and Arja to the garden of Kunsthalle and found there Helsinki City Art Museum's Janne who had ordered two bottles of Moskovskaya. We invited Amel, Detlev, Tania, Fermin, Pedro and others to see how the Finns drink vodka.